R.I.P. Bill

Now that I’ve taken a few days to morn the loss of one of the best characters to ever bless a game with his presence, it’s time to discuss the tragedy (or should I say conspiracy?) of Left 4 Dead 2′s The Passing.  If you didn’t already know, I’m here to tell you that Bill does not make it.  If this is news to you and I’m spoiling it for you, then I apologize.  However, I’m only discussing this openly because I’m assuming that all the people that really cared to know have fired up the game by now and discovered this as I did, and I think many of us are just plain mad at Valve.  If you aren’t, you should be.



Why Bill?
In trying to make sense of this I keep asking myself, “Why Bill damnit?”.  It just makes no sense to pick Bill as the guy who bites it.  Sure, he was famous for quotes like “I’m gettin too old for this s#%t”, but Bill really had no quit in him.  He was a grizzled old vet, and he was just the kind of guy you want with you when the zombie apocalypse starts.

Think about it.  The world implodes in a zombie apocalypse.   You are struggling to stay alive and get to somewhere safe.  Who do you want with you the most?  You want the guy who is already wearing his military issue gear for Christ’s sake.  Bill is ALREADY prepared for war, and experienced from fighting in the jungles of Vietnam. He might be crazy, but in a zombie apocalypse you need a little crazy with you to make it.  I don’t want the whiny office worker in a shirt and tie.  I don’t want the questionably gay biker looking guy with me.   I might want Zoe if we have to propagate our species again, but damnit there’s still no one better to have with me than Bill.  We can’t win this without Bill people.  We have been robbed of hope, the zombies will surely take us now.

The Conspiracy
I’m calling Valve out now.  A large company is surely pressured to make “politically correct” choices nowadays, and this is one of them.  Here’s why it had to be Bill.  If you kill Louis, the African American community gets offended.  Sure, kill off the black guy like every other white movie ever made.  Too cliche, so Louis lives to continue politely whining to zombies.  If you kill Zoe, the feminists and gamer chicks come out of the woodworks in protest.  Cries of sexism will rain on Valve HQ.  Zoe lives, and we keep our female audience in tact.  If you kill Francis, either the biker gangs light your building on fire or the LBGT community pickets in front of your facility.  Neither is an appealing option, and Francis lives to parade through zombieville.  That leaves Bill.

Perhaps it’s our fault.  Who cries now that Bill is gone?  Who cares if a half-crazy old guy dies?  Just another disturbed Vietnam vet buried in Arlington right?  Wrong.  Some of us care.  Some of us are just as pissed off as I am that Valve chose Bill to die:

Time to Take a Stand
It’s time the old guys stand up and made some noise too.  It’s time we picket Valve HQ to defend those that defend us, the Bills of the world.  Sure we may need to take some pills and a med pack to be able to picket for hours, but someone needs to do it.  This travesty cannot be tolerated.  Bill has to have died for something, and we need to be heard.

R.I.P. Bill, you’ll be missed.

© Posted by br3ntbr0 for Im Talkin Games with 8 comments on 04/25/2010.
Posted in: Featured, Funny, Opinion, Video Tags: Left 4 Dead 2, Valve

This is so full of win I don’t know where to start…

© Posted by br3ntbr0 for Im Talkin Games with 2 comments on 04/15/2010.
Posted in: Featured, Funny, Video Tags: World of Warcraft

CC’s avatar takes a moment to tell us how BFBC2 is much better because this type of play is not as effective, given the vehicles and destructible buildings and all.

Check the video below for the full scoop:

Is CC gonna get a fine from the commissioner for blowing Sweetwater up with a Hellfire missle?

~br3ntbr0

© Posted by br3ntbr0 for Im Talkin Games with No comments on 03/16/2010.
Posted in: Featured, Funny, News, Video Tags: Battlefield: Bad Company 2, DICE, Electronic Arts, Infinity Ward, Modern Warfare 2

As World of Warcraft: Cataclysm nears, I find myself pondering what things we can expect not already announced by the folks at Blizzard.

Will there be any cool new features that will shock us on release? Let’s hope so.

As I while away the time waiting, I’ve come up with a list of “blue sky” features that I can almost guarantee will NOT be in the expansion. These are completely fake and preposterous notions brewed up in my mind whilst playing in WoW.

So humour me as I present to you my:

TOP 10 MOST UNLIKELY FEATURES of CATACLYSM:

1. A new hero class will be introduced: Magelock – combining the abilities of Mage and Warlock into one class. The rivalries can now cease!
2. The new Worgen dance emote will be from Teen Wolf
3. The new Goblin dance emote will be the break dancing
4. All variations of the name “Quark” will be banned for Goblins
5. All variations of the name “Jacob” will be banned for Worgen
6. A new style of PVP and guild housing will be introduced called Guild vs Guild (GvG) where rival guilds can attack each others’ guild home base.
7. If a player gets kicked from a PUG three times in a single day, their character will have a large “L” hover over their head for the rest of the day.
8. Paladins will be nerfed, just for kicks.
9. Pandaren Monks will be introduced into the game, but you’ll need to have a level 80 of each class to unlock it, but damn will it be worth it!
10. If you unlock the Pandaren Monk, the game will automatically shut down and the following message will appear every time you try to log back in:

“You have completed this game, now go get some damn sunshine”

- Rackham

© Posted by Rackham for Im Talkin Games with One comment on 03/16/2010.
Posted in: Comics, Fail, Featured, Funny Tags: Blizzard Entertainment, Cataclysm, World of Warcraft

Ahhh, the Red Shirts. Just like the expendable Star Wars clones and droids, red shirted Starfleet officers were created solely to act as the “casualties of war” during away missions. During the Original Series, they were the security officers, but then the Next Generation broke with that tradition by having red uniforms being that of tactical and command. At least they kept part of the original tradition by sacrificing a few red-shirted officers every now and then!

There has been quite a bit of buzz around the upcoming release of the new MMO, Star Trek Online. Both good and bad reviews. A majority of the complaints I’ve been reading is surrounding whether or not Crytic has captured the true “Star Trek” feel. Does it feel like you’re actually in Star Trek or is it just a combat oriented shooting gallery with Trek-style cutouts?

Another complaint is that Cryptic did such a good job in the space battles, that the ground missions seem
clumsy, awkward and sluggish. Could it be that we as MMO players are just so used to the “kill ten rats” scenario and running around on foot that the space battles are a new refreshing break from that typical model?

Speaking of “Kill ten rats“, a few folks have stated their dissapointment that the Borg are your initial default trash mob (albeit “broken” Borg). I can understand Crytic’s reasoning for this as the Borg appear to be the primary threat in space at this time in Star Trek history. Since there are no rats or boars in space, it makes perfect sense to me to use Borg!

Now I should note, I’m a fan but not one of those die-hard extreme fans of Star Trek. People who know me would know I am not fully versed in Klingon and I would not know the Star Trek timeline to heart. – Or you would have noticed I have one of the ensigns holding a non-standard issue rifle that doesn’t occur from the Original Series era

However, I do know the meaning on the phrases: “Make it so, Number One” and “Dammit Jim! I’m a doctor not a physicist!“, and the humour in the word: “Sabotage“.

I know enough of Star Trek to understand the aliens, the ships, and the pop culture. I’ve watched the shows
with a passion (DS9 is my favourite) and I can say I’ve been to at least one Star Trek convention (although not in costume).

Either way, I’m enough of a Star Trek geek to go out and purchase the game regardless of the complaints from Open and Closed Beta. As many have said, Cryptic can count on many people like me to base their decision solely on the fact that its Star Trek and that alone. For myself, I’ll give it at least a month or two of playing to see how the game develops. As a Star Trek fan, I HAVE to experience exploring space in my own ship. I HAVE to walk through Deep Space 9. I HAVE to see where Cryptic takes this game after release. They have already stated that they plan to do a further content release 45 days after launch. I think for many, this will be the tell-tale time for Cryptic to step up to the plate and show us all what they’ve got.

I have even avoided ruining my impressions of the game by not participating in either of the Beta tests. I did
get an Open Beta key, but I decided to wait for release and experience the game as Cryptic intends it. I’ve done that in the past where a game has come out and I’ve already had frustrations with bugs and errors from beta. LOTRO was one case of that, although their release went fairly smoothly overall. For me, I’ll be approaching this game knowing it will not be perfect on release, but willing to see how the game evolves after release.

The timing couldn’t be better for Cryptic as well. Now that we’ve been told not to expect Star Wars: The Old Republic until 2011, Cryptic has a huge window of opportunity to gain some subscribers over this lull in the MMO market. Even Cataclysm won’t be released until most likely the fall of this year, so that gives Cryptic a good 6-7 months to perfect the game and provide enough incentive for players to stay.

Want to stay up to date on Rackham’s posts? Follow me on Twitter @RackhamGreg

© Posted by Rackham for Im Talkin Games with 2 comments on 01/16/2010.
Posted in: Comics, Featured, Funny, Misc Tags: Cryptic, Star Trek Online

Ah, the fabled quest. That one activity that’s prevalent through many games, both single player RPGs and MMOs. How far the “quest” has come from its early days.

Not to sound like an old man, but in my day we had to trudge across miles in Azeroth with no mount, and the snow weather system wasn’t even invented in the game yet! We had to read the quest log to get our clues! None of these fancy dancy wikis or quest helper mods were around to help us and none of those prissy sparkles to highlight a quest item! And when we finally returned back to the quest giver after running for days, all we got was 32 silver! And we did that hundreds of times because that’s the way it was and we liked it! We loved it!

The chat channels were always pounded by people asking for directions to certain quest areas or screaming for help to kill some elite mobs. There was no LFG interface then either, just the general and trade chat channels.

For any class-specific quests, players usually groaned at having to run around the zones in what inevitably meant hours of playtime devoted to those arduous quests. Need I remind you Shamans about the Call of Water quest chain?

Quest sparklies were not out yet then either. I remember spending hours in the Hinterlands as a herbalist, trying to spot the elusive Sungrass in amongst all the green grass texture. Looking back on that now, I think about all that time wasted. However back then, I willingly accepted that as just part of the game.

Nowadays we’re presented with an overwhelming amount of quest assistance. The quest window interface has gone through several changes as well to make the quest process easier and easier with each patch. The most recent patch 3.3 has adopted the quest map markers taken from many MMOs like Warhammer Online’s Tome of Knowledge and mods like the ever popular QuestHelper.

In addition to in-game assistance, there are now a multitude of game wikis and game databases out there that contain all the secrets and directions for any quest in the game. Have trouble finding a particular mob? In the past, it would mean screaming across the channels in hopes that someone else had found it. Nowadays, if you don’t alt-tab to one of these sites, you’ll get screamed at for being a noob who wastes everyone’s time. Ah, how far we’ve come along.

Why make the game easier?

With each development decision, game developers strive to make the quest process easier and less time consuming. Blizzard is infamous for this by “dumbing down” World of Warcraft by including with each patch quicker ways for people to level up. Whether it be including more and more quest assistance, allowing mounts at earlier levels, or even going as far as reducing the XP requirements per level.

Remember all those elite non-instance mobs you had to kill back in the day? Remember the Ruins of Alterac or Andorhal in the Western Plaguelands? Today, most of those mobs have been normalized and you’d be hard-pressed to see anything elite outside of a dungeon. Even dungeon bosses have had their HP reduced dramatically with each new expansion.

All of this is in response to players wanting their gaming experience to be quicker and easier. Where in the past it would have taken someone months to get a character to 60, now people seem to roll new alts to 60 within a matter of days and to 80 within a couple of weeks.

What does all this say about our society and expectations in games these days? Have our attention spans dropped that dramatically that game developers are willing to strip the challenge from their games? Or is it more an issue that the developers, in effort to keep players involved in their games, pave roads to each quest objective with bright neon signs and floating arrows? Personally I think it’s a little of both.

Part of me wonders if games of the future will eliminate quests entirely. If players are so eager to rush through these quests, why not just dump the whole mechanic and do something new? Part of me does worry that this might be the case, but I think we’ll see another evolution to the quest mechanic eventually. One example of this creative thinking is the steps Bioware is taking with SWTOR. By having fully voiced interactions with NPCs, we may just see players wanting to slow down and experience each quest like we did in the old days. Just like the motivation WoW players have for the Wrathgate questline.

In a way, we’re falling back to the roots of RPGs. Bringing back a focus on storyline and lore, rather than XP bonuses and mob kills. Maybe it won’t be so bad to spend hours doing one quest? Maybe it will become the new way and maybe we’ll love it!

- Rackham

© Posted by Rackham for Im Talkin Games with 7 comments on 12/09/2009.
Posted in: Comics, Featured, Funny Tags: BioWare, Star Wars: The Old Repbulic, World of Warcraft

Need help with your short game or end game?  Suffering from an embarrassing rash of altitis?  Can’t tell the difference between a noob, a newbie, and a n00b?  Then pose your conundrum to Syp, the MMO Master, and prepare yourself to be rocked by advice from a gamer who truly knows what “/afk” means.  No question is too serious; no answer is too silly!

As a speculative fiction writer and longtime roleplayer, I often immerse myself in the lore of a setting. I’ve become somewhat known as a “loremaster” for Warcraft in particular, and it really irritates my scrotum to see that not just the devs, but the players, truly care little about the storyline of their games. At times, I wonder if I look like a street preacher in a dashiki, yelling at passerbys about how they “should” be enjoying the game. Most infuriatingly, this doesn’t come just from hardcore RPers or raiders, as the stereotype is, but from fellow roleplayers. I’m sure everyone’s heard the stories of vampire night elves or “the son of Arthas and Jaina”. My question is – how do I educate these savages? Am I justified in even trying to?

Sincerely,

Horselover Fat in Azeroth.

Dear Horselover,

They’re called “savages” for a reason – because they are actually noble, introspective peoples who can talk to trees and paint with all the colors of the wind.  Or so Disney’s Pocahontas taught me.  This means that while you are trying to educate them in your so-called superior culture, they’re so busy wind-painting and tree-chatting to notice petty things like “lore” and “roleplay”.  But by all means, go ahead and give it your best shot.  We’ll grab some popcorn and enjoy the show.

Sincerely,

Syp

With Phoenix Throne closing down this week, there was lots of forum chat and such about roleplaying servers. Some joked that roleplay servers were for guys who were trolling for girls to chat up/“cyber” etc. Some asked about which server he should transfer to in order to find the most girls. (I’m pretty sure it was tongue in cheek) When the answer came back that most were married, it incited a comment about lonely married women being easy prey kinda thing.

We all know that MMOs have an enormous social aspect, and for me it’s why we play. Yet how do we handle this kind of social activity that bypasses the game and hijacks it for other social agendas?

Sincerely,

Sleepless in Searing Gorge

Dear Sleepless in Searing Gorge,

This makes me think back to when I played a Tauren in WoW.  A female Tauren.  Apparently, they were so rare that the Blizzard team had to dust off the character creation options when I went to make her.  Because of this, one lonesome teenage boy figured that I surely had to be a girl, and delivered the most ham-handed come on I’ve ever witnessed.  And cows don’t go for ham, my friend.

Like just about anywhere, people are stupid for sex a lot of the time, and when a game world becomes 95% of their social sphere, that’s where they go a-fishin’.  It’s not so much an “agenda” as it is a symptom of bachelor frustration, and I say that the best way to return to normalcy is to put all of these randy fellas in a Vulcan death ring and have them duke it out until there is only one survivor, who then can go on a supervised date with a female Tauren (but not mine).

Sincerely,

Syp

What are some of the warning signs that an MMO has jumped the shark, and what can you do to protect yourself?

Sincerely,

Fonzarelli in Ironforge

Dear Fonzarelli,

The second a MMO jumps a shark, the community should be on high alert – I agree.  If they can jump sharks, then they have lost all sense of fear and restraint, and will soon be coming for you and everyone you love.  The only thing that will hold them back is to surround your house with Ewoks.  Don’t underestimate Ewoks – just look at what happened to the Emperor’s “crack troops”, who got skewered and crushed for their troubles.

Sincerely,

Syp

How does one go about ‘catching up’ as a real, honest-to-goodness new player in 5 year old games? Even baby groups assuming I know what I am doing and I’m not really NEW new. I find it very hard to get past the opening grind because it’s both bewildering, exponentially more difficult than the ‘tutorial areas’ and, increasingly, expensive. “L2P” or “Read the f$@#@ing website” greets most requests for help and I DON’T want to be one of those ‘zomg plezae guild meh’ shouters I tend to see.

In other words, I’m an older gamer (literally) with a more ‘conservative’ approach to interpersonal contact (Like… sentences, and respecting space and boundaries) who is a genuine new player and finding it hard to find my feet in game. What advice do you have for those of us new to a game, with jobs and families, who are seriously behind the learning curve? Do we suck it up and solo to the top or do we wait for a new MMO where we are all on the same footing? Your advice would be great.

Sincerely,

New Old Guy in Starter Zone

Dear New Old Guy,

Trust me, if you take the “suck it up” route, you will burn out long before hitting the level cap.  Your best bet is to hit the forums and do searches for guilds that advertise themselves as “newbie-friendly” and “helpful” and “offering free cupcakes”.  There are plenty of guilds who fill the need of mentors (including, off the top of my head, The Older Gamers guild, who have chapters in many games).  It just takes a bit of work to find them, so don’t be afraid to experiment with guilds until you find one that fits your need.  If a guild doesn’t, then shout out in guild chat, “BUZZZ!  YOUR TIME IS UP AND YOU HAVE FAILED TO APPEASE ME!  YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK, GOODBYE!” and /gquit.

Sincerely,

Syp

How come no prison can function as it is supposed to?

Sincerely,

Bronte in Stormwind

Dear Bronte,

Whether it be the Ziggurat in Paragon City or the Stockades in Stormwind, all prisons in our beloved games seem to be built with revolving doors and highly gullible guards, resulting in an inevitable takeover by convicts and the resulting clean-up call to wandering adventurers.  What you may not know is that these are not prisons at all – nay, they are massive social experiments designed by top MMORPG psychologists and sociologists who are trying to protect their grant money by staging these elaborate breakouts.  All in the name of science, my friend!

Sincerely,

Syp

© Posted by Syp for Im Talkin Games with One comment on 12/04/2009.
Posted in: Advice, Featured, Funny Tags: City of Heroes, MMO, Warhammer Online, World of Warcraft

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened. Could it be because I have returned to creating web comics and blogs? Quite possibly.

First, let me make some introductions. I’m Greg Moran, a.k.a. Rackham, the newest addition to the I’m Talkin Games family. To quote Troy McClure, you may remember me from such former blogs as the Warhammer Online web-comic, Tome of Knowledge. During that time I wrote commentaries on the status of WAR with a strong emphasis on the lore and story in the Warhammer world. When I stopped playing WAR back in March I closed down my blog but continued on in other games including the ever popular World of Warcraft, and yes, even Wizards101. Still feeling the itch to write and draw web comics, I jumped at the chance when the ever great, br3ntbr0, offered me a place among his crack team of elite bloggers (team uniforms are sure to follow!).

So here is the first issue of a regular web comic feature I’m calling GRATS! You can expect to see in this comic all things gaming and geek all rendered in digital art form. I’m wanting to poke fun at everything from “Star Trek vs. Star Wars” to MMO gamer culture. I’m hoping to post these up in a regular fashion so be sure to check back often for future issues!

As my first comic suggests, I’m eagerly awaiting several things on the gaming horizon. World of Warcraft takes up my current Triple-A MMO slot at the moment with the upcoming Cataclysm expansion high on my list of things to buy. Keeping within the Blizzard family, Diablo 3, is also looking too good to pass up. Who doesn’t want to lay out some mindless, mouse-clicking frenzy, mayhem as the Monk, Barbarian, Mage, or Witch Doctor?

As my comic also suggests, the Force is strong in me. It must be, because where else would I get the strength to resist marching down to Bioware, crash down those doors, and absorb every ounce of Star Wars: The Old Republic goodness that they are cooking down there? Everything I have seen from this game has caused that young 10 year old in me with star wars bedsheets to squeal in joy. For a time I couldn’t decide between this MMO and Star Trek Online, but lightsabers beat out phasers for this geek. The jury is still out on whether I’ll go Republic or Empire, but I’m looking at everything with heavy anticipation. I still have my doubts though. We have all seen such promise before with other games only to leave disappointed or frustrated. Only time will tell. Only then will we see if Balance returns to the Force.

Until then you can find me mostly in Azeroth, but also playing in Wizards101 with my son. And be sure to keep watch for me here for more web comics!

- Rackham

© Posted by Rackham for Im Talkin Games with 8 comments on 11/30/2009.
Posted in: Comics, Featured, Funny Tags: BioWare, Blizzard, Cataclysm, GRATS!, Star Wars: The Old Repbulic, World of Warcraft

Nerd Rage. What is it? Where did it come from?

If you’ve been playing games online, weather it’s Xbox live, Ps3 network, or an MMO, you have undoubtedly come across it.  Urban dictionary simple states it as:

Nerd Rage: When a nerd (as implied) video gamer gets extremely angry and starts yelling after losing or experiencing the tiniest disturbances.
Prominent in competitive online mmos, nerd raging was made famous in world of warcraft with “Serennia“, often considered the greatest nerd rager to date and “Mahiko” who is known to throw funny yet childish fits.

© Posted by Kaldeem for Im Talkin Games with 2 comments on 11/02/2009.
Posted in: Analysis, Funny, Opinion, Video Tags: Nerd Rage, Opinion, Rumors, World of Warcraft, WoW