Syp’s Quips: Dear Dr. Wily

Need help with your short game or end game? Suffering from an embarrassing rash of altitis? Can’t tell the difference between a noob, a newbie, and a n00b? Then pose your conundrum to Syp, the MMO Master, and prepare yourself to be rocked by advice from a gamer who truly knows what “/afk” means. No question is too serious; no answer is too silly!

Dear Syp,

Every day that I’m at work, my co-workers ask me what I did the previous night. Now I know they’re expecting answers like “went to the bar” or “watched Grey’s Anatomy”, but I play MMOs instead. I’m getting tired of trying to creatively change the subject. Should I just tell them that I play MMOs?

Sincerely,
Feeling Foolish in Feralas

Dear Feeling Foolish,

You know that awkward pause in the conversation when you casually announce that “you had worms” but “the doctor got most of them out with laxatives”?  Yeah, admitting that you play MMOs is sort of like that, but with more social ostracization attached.  People will immediately start sizing you up for serial killer potential, and that’s a headache you don’t need.

Sincerely,
Syp

Syppy, baby, answer me this,

I know for a fact many RPers roleplay for a degree of escapism and wish fulfillment, some to an unhealthy degree. Is there any tactful way of breaking their bubble and, if not, is it morally reprehensible to do so?  Repeatedly?  As your favorite pasttime in a MMO?

Sincerely,
Omacron of Azeroth

Dear OMACRON,

It’s a proven fact that roleplayers are social deviants, like congressmen and late-shift managers at Denny’s.  And as such, they should be treated with kid’s gloves (you can get these from any kid, just ask), because you don’t want to incur their wrath by shattering the carefully-crafted illusion that virtual worlds aren’t as real as planet earth.

Instead, give wide berth when you see a player apologizing to a mob that they’re going to kill it, because that player believes the mob’s soul-spirit will be reincarnated into a raid boss later on in the game.  If you don’t, they will suck you into their RP, and that’s a black hole from which few people escape.

Sincerely,
Syp

Dear Syp,

Where did all of these people come from? And where’s my damn pie!?

Sincerely,
Hung-over Hobbit in Bree

Dear Hung-over,

Man, did you see that movie The Hangover?  With the baby and the tiger?  HAHA, that was funny stuff!

Although I never figured out how the chicken factored into it all.

Sincerely,
Syp

Dear Syp,

My friend says WoW isn’t the first MMO and didn’t invent MMOs. Is he right?

Sincerely,
Captain Oblivious of Muradin

Dear Captain O,

Let’s back up a second and re-read your question.  Your friend is stating that not only is WoW not the first MMO, but it didn’t invent MMOs?  As in, invent itself?  Games creating themselves… man, that is a dark alley you do NOT want to go down.

Your friend’s an idiot.  There are no other MMOs than WoW, not before, not since.  WoW is the be-all, end-all.

Sincerely,
Syp

Dear Syp,

Do you think Star Trek Online might be biting off more then it can chew with ship fighting, and avatar fighting? Do you think it’s trying to do too much, and will fail and go the way of Pirates of the Burning Sea. Which I feel tried to bite off more then it can chew, and ultimately failed?

Kla’peth,
General Chang of Kronos

Dear General Chang,

Really, the only way that Star Trek Online can fail is if they neglect to include the holodeck as a feature, allowing players to recreate their favorite fantasies and wildest dreams, most likely without pants on.  Then the ESRB rating will shoot through the roof, and nobody will worry about space and ground combat, because nobody will leave the holodeck (which will become the new Second Life).

Sincerely,
Syp

ATTENTION: Do you have a question for the MMO Master? Then ask, my child, in the comments section below, and make sure to sign it “[name] in [game world/game city]”!