Syp’s Quips: Frogger Heaven

Need help with your short game or end game?  Suffering from an embarrassing rash of altitis?  Can’t tell the difference between a noob, a newbie, and a n00b?  Then pose your conundrum to Syp, the MMO Master, and prepare yourself to be rocked by advice from a gamer who truly knows what “/afk” means.  No question is too serious; no answer is too silly!

Dear Syp,

Hi, I’ve heard of DKP and SKS and that they are systems of loot distribution. How do they work, and are there alternatives?

Sincerely,

ConfusedRaider in the Great Underground Empire

Dear ConfusedRaider,

In the wonderful, wild and Willy Wonka world of raiding, you may be shocked to find that there lacks a spirit of altruism and selflessness when it comes to loot.  While on the surface it may appear that a group of intrepid adventurers have banded together to overcome a great foe, just under that surface is a raging current of greed and gear envy.  They want their stuff so bad, they can taste it – and if you get it, trust me, there are silent curses being hurled in your direction from the other 39 players.

Because (a) everyone desperately wants their loot but (b) wants to avoid looking like they do, “civilized” means of loot distribution such as DKP (Dragon Kill Points) and SKS (Sega K. System) have emerged as ways to be “fair” when one piece of gear drops that 20 people want.  Personally, I wish that MMOs would whisk any players that want that loot to a small cage match instance, where they can duke it out until only one remains, but the major studios aren’t taking my calls these days.

So… what was your question again?  How do they work?

Simple: Black Magic.

Sincerely,

Syp

Dear Syp,

I hear that a sound chip on your motherboard puts some additional load on your CPU, while a sound card does some processing of the sound instructions on its own. Does using a sound card rather than an on-board sound chip make any significant difference, performance-wise?

Sincerely,

Gnomeguts Soufflé in Gnomeregan

Dear Gnomeguts,

Do I look like a member of Best Buy’s Geek Squad to you?  No.  I am not.  While I am typing this answer, part of my brain is still trying to figure out what “CPU” means, although I’m half sure that it’s referring to a brand of energy drinks.

So in this case, I’m going to say what your dad always says when you bring him a question that stumps him: go ask your mother.

Sincerely,

Syp

Dear Syp,

Is Warhammer Online a failure, and if it is why do you think it failed?

Sincerely,

Lost Chosen in the Inevitable City.

Dear Lost Chosen,

If I say “no”, then I get out of the second part of that question, right?

No.

Sincerely,

Syp

Dear Syp,

Is there anything worth playing until SWTOR comes out?

Sincerely,

Floating in Boredom in Nordland

Dear Floating,

Absolutely!  Why, let me tell you about this incredible MMO called “Evony” which, if I’m able to deduce anything from its ads, is largely about cleavage.

Or you could let go of the myth that only AAA titles are the ones worth playing, and open yourself up to the possibility that one of the smaller dogs in the kennel might provide you with more love and companionship if you just give it a chance.  There are metric gobs of MMORPGs out there right now, both young and old, and you could literally try a new one every DAY until Star Wars: The Old Republic comes out and never have to repeat one.

Of course, you’d probably go broke, but that’s an issue for your financial planner.

Sincerely,

Syp

ATTENTION: Do you have a question for the MMO Master?  Then ask, my child, in the comments section below, and make sure to sign it “[name] in [game world/game city]”!